This #sponsored post is in partnership with #ReleaseThePressure and We Derby with Heart. This post also contains affiliate links that help support this site. This story is my own.
Self-care is not a new concept. As Black women, the idea that we are allowed, nay, encouraged to make it a part of our lives may be. Women are nurturers by nature but that desire to take care of ourselves is often thwarted by the need to take care of everyone else. When I visited China many years ago, I earned the nickname “Mama Hen” because of how I looked over all of the other students on the trip with me. I fell…and fall…so easily into that role because it’s always been my nature.
I was following the examples that were set before me. My mother helped to raise her younger siblings. Her mother was always helping to raise her grandchildren. All of the fondest memories that I have of my grandmother were of her taking care of us. The summers that she invited all of the first cousins to stay with her. Rising at 4 am to bake 13 cakes for us from scratch, teaching us her craft. The summer of caring for 7 kids with chickenpox and trying to keep the 8th away from us. Playing games and going to church. Taking care of others in the community. Going back to school to complete her GED when she was in her 60s. I had a front seat to her giving everything she had to others.
What I don’t have any memories of is her resting. Rarely going to a doctor’s appointment. Never asking someone to step in and support her. And because my grandmother was our literal Superwoman, we never knew that she needed to not be the hero sometimes.
Until it was too late.
Fun fact: my mom is a twin. Having someone who looked exactly like her walking the planet was not the only way in which she and her sister were alike. They also looked like their mother, taking care of everyone else first.
Like their mother before them, my mom and aunt went above and beyond doing the same for their own children and grandchildren, giving everything they had to make sure others were taken care of. Like her mother, she too had a massive heart attack; she was dead for 18 minutes. When they brought her back, she lived for another 3 weeks, showing us the importance of embracing the gift that is the present.
We also learned during that time frame that my aunt had undiagnosed and untreated diabetes. The heart attack and coma were the first dominoes to fall in the cascade that was her body irreversibly shutting down.
My mom maintains that she died of a broken heart due to the stress and turmoil she endured in her personal life. She continued to give once her cup was empty. As it turns out, Takotsubo cardiomyopathy is a thing and it occurs almost exclusively in women.
My grandmother and aunt were both 65 when the lack of self-care tragically caught up with them. Another aunt suffered a heart attack at 50; my cousin’s wife had a massive coronary event in her 30s; I was diagnosed with a heart condition in my 20s.
The Lack of Help is the Real Silent Killer
A dominant risk factor for diabetes, heart disease, and premature death is being a Black woman. Many of the other contributing factors include stress, family history, being overweight, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, being physically inactive, etc. These are all things that are historically prevalent in our communities. For many reasons, they turn into generational curses that we don’t address.
The prevalence of high BP in Black women is nearly 40% higher than in white women in the U.S. Hypertension is known as the “silent killer” because often there may be no symptoms, despite its role in significantly increasing the risk for heart disease and stroke. When we do ask for help, the medical community – more often than not – doesn’t hear us. Discrimination, racial biases, and lack of access to proper medical care can be a death sentence.
This has created the palpable reality that we have to do more to take care of ourselves because the misconception that Black women are invincible is literally killing us.
But do we know how to take care of ourselves? Are we willing to see that we’re deserving of self-care and that we need to be our own priority?
We Have to Release the Pressure of Expectation and Martyrdom
Uncontrolled high blood pressure (BP) can lead to heart attack, stroke, heart failure, and other life-threatening conditions. Despite all of the odds stacked against us, high blood pressure is the most common controllable risk factor for stroke.
The most important thing we can do is be an advocate for our own health. There are many steps that we can take to do just that:
- Sign the pledge to Release the Pressure. Join Release the Pressure and I to make a promise. A promise that you will do all that you can to take care of your heart and be around for those who matter.
- Make small changes to your diet, incorporating more plant-based options. Delicious as our diet might be, a lot of the foods that we enjoy in our community raise blood pressure and cholesterol levels, putting us at greater risk for heart disease.
- Know your numbers. Understand what your blood pressure, A1C, cholesterol, etc. numbers are. Understand what the healthy range is for yourself. A portable BP monitor is a good way to be able to track this information and be able to share it with your medical provider. Speaking of a medical provider,
- Find a doctor/practitioner you trust. The most important thing is to work with someone you trust. Don’t be afraid to “doc hop” if the one you’re working with is dismissive or otherwise not advocating for your health.
Take care of yourself. Self-care has to be a priority. I love the cautionary advice shared when you get on a plane. “Put your mask on first before you try to help someone else.” You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others.
Let’s Take the Next Step Together
Join Release the Pressure on Tuesday, May 17th at 8 pm EST / 5 pm PST for We Derby With Heart, a visual extravaganza celebrating Black health, beauty, and wellness, brought to you by the Release the Pressure Coalition in collaboration with the Eta Omega Chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.™, Hortense B. Perry Foundation, EBONY, Ad Council, iHeartRadio, Fashion Fair, tgin, and Àuda.B. You don’t want to miss it! – register now!”
Learn more about the Release the Pressure campaign and join the more than 55,000 men and women who have pledged to make themselves a priority.
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