Kwanzaa is an African American celebration of community, family, and culture that helps us to reconnect with our African roots. With 2019 being declared the Year of Return in Ghana, celebrating Kwanzaa this year is all the more special for our community.
Centered around family and community, Kwanzaa is celebrated every year from December 26th – January 1st.. There are 7 days in the celebration of Kwanzaa:
- Umoja (Unity)
- Kujichagulia (Self-Determination)
- Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility)
- Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics)
- Nia (Purpose)
- Kuumba (Creativity)
- Imani (Faith)
The 3rd day of the Kwanzaa celebration is Ujima.
This is the principle of collective work and responsibility. In our community, we have to work together to meet its needs and work dutifully to ensure its endurance and prosperity.
In relationships, we should be working toward the same goals of endurance and prosperity.
Do you practice Ujima in your relationship?
Collective work and responsibility means doing things together for the common good and being proactive in those efforts. As you exercise Ujima, you have to ask: What do you want out of your relationship? How hard are you willing to work to get it?
Ujima love
Did you know that we have a counseling and coaching agency? It’s the clinical side of the work we do with this blog.
When hubby went for his Masters in Counseling, I knew that I would have to work with him. I wanted to work with him. I went back to school to get my counseling certification in order to be able to work with him. We’ve always been #TeamShorter. But it’s taken on a whole new meaning since we started down this path.
We realized that our responsibility was making sure that our community has access to mental health services. We knew that it was going to take the collective efforts of both us, and our colleagues, to do that. “It takes a village…” goes beyond child-rearing and we are exercising a concerted effort to be the village.
More than being able to work with my husband, I got my certification to be able to support him and his mental health. Being a counselor is heavy work at times and it’s not easy to carry that burden. An Ujima love is what keeps us both going in our Kingdom work.
Marriage is a ministry that is meant to show the love of Christ here on Earth. The two people in it have to work together to first show that love to each other. They then have to work together to show that love to the rest of the village.
Reaching Relationship Goals with Ujima
In a healthy, thriving relationship, there are certain things that you should be working toward, both individually and with your partner. We all have relationship goals and there are ways to reach them:
- Remember that you have to give 100% in a relationship. Believing that your partnership is 50/50 eases you into the mindset that it’s ok to not put your all into it. If you wouldn’t want to get less than the best from your partner, you can’t give less to them either. Someone once referred to their spouse at their “better whole” and I couldn’t love that phrase more! You are {prayerfully} a complete person joining into a covenant with {prayerfully} another complete person.
- You have to love with an agape love. That often means loving them when you don’t really like them. When you’re working under the principle of Ujima, you love your partner sacrificially. Those relationships that are “relationship goals” may look amazing in pictures, but the real ones take lots of hard work and tears to be that solid. Romans 12:9-10 says “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” When each person is putting the other first, you’re both winning!
- You have to want to win for yourself in life and want your partner to win in life too! Teamwork truly makes the dream work. If you’re walking as one, you have to go…and get there…together.
Whatever it looks like…joint bank accounts, career changes, dreams temporarily deferred…you have to work together to make your marriage all that it can be. You’ll need to be strong with your communication skills, be willing to exercise patience, and choose kindness at every opportunity.
Need a way to make this practical? Click here for the Principles of Kwanzaa for a Beautiful Relationship Workbook; you can use it to work through simple, applicable exercises each day of the celebration.
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