Did you get in on the hype that is Love is Blind? I’m nosy, so I had to watch it and boy did it escalate quickly! There were couples who rushed into the process faster than anyone thought. One relationship imploded almost upon impact! Another carried all of the show’s drama. But our favorite couple taught us the most valuable lessons about finding love.
Is love really blind?
If you haven’t watched it…you should! Love is Blind is a show that debuted on Netflix. It is about a group of single men and women who go into fancy isolation pods and have a series of blind dates. Being intentional about building a connection, the pods served a deeper purpose. We often go into relationships based upon how the other person looks. It’s not uncommon for people in a relationship to discover there is little below the surface when we go in with lust in our eyes.
The pods made people focus on the content of the other person’s character above all else. Singles had nothing but conversation to discover who the other person truly is. They shared their hopes and dreams. Fears and failures were on the table. We watched eagerly as they confessed, confided, and cried together. Watching as some of the singles hedged their bets against who would be the best spouse for them.
The caveat? You had to propose before you ever met the person with whom you’d fallen in love!
Our favorite couple
*SPOILER ALERT*
One of the couples that jumped out to me was Cameron and Lauren. Cameron is a scientist and Lauren is a social media influencer. Very quickly, they professed their love to each other. Cameron proposed to Lauren after just 5 dates in the pods; they were the first couple to pair up and leave the experiment.
My first thought was Nooooo! It’s too soon! There’s no way this is going to work! But now we were in for the next part of the ride…
After all of the couples were paired up, they immediately went to Mexico to spend time together as a couple. There, they got to see if the chemistry they experienced in isolation would translate into real life. Basically, in the space of 5 weeks, they got to know each other, got engaged, met for the first time, vacationed together, moved in with each other, met each other’s families, and decide if they would go through with getting married.
We all held our breath, anxiously waiting to see if Cameron and Lauren were going to make it to the altar. I had my own personal opinions on the things that were going on in their relationship but was so happy to see how things unfolded with them.
I watched their interactions, how they overcame some of their obvious challenges, and saw how the love between them genuinely and really quickly.
Their relationship highlighted some of the lessons that we can stand to learn…and remember…from them.
Cameron Hamilton and Lauren Speed-Hamilton | Photo: BuzzFeed News
The Most Valuable Lessons About Finding Love
Cameron and Lauren are a stunning couple! They were so captivated by each other at first sight. Cameron was all in but Lauren had her breath taken away for a moment…she’d never dated a White man! Beautifully, Lauren was not his first encounter with interracial dating.
I loved watching their relationship unfold. Despite their short romance, they have lessons to teach all couples that will last a lifetime:
Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Lauren was super worried about dating outside her race. She was worried about what her family and friends would think. As someone who is super “Black Girl Magic” and “Black is Beautiful,” she was concerned about how in the world her relationship would work. But her fears were for naught. Cameron was open-minded, understanding, and unbothered with what the world thought his love should look like. He truly fell in love with who she was as a person. It made room for her to do the same for him. My favorite moment was when Cameron had to meet Mr. Speed. Dad was surprised that his daughter was dating outside of her race. After speaking with Cameron, he concluded: “I will only judge you by how you treat my daughter.”
We oftentimes get caught up in the appearances of a potential partner. We can be attracted by their physical beauty and end up in a terribly toxic relationship. Conversely, we can dismiss someone because they don’t look the exact way we want them to and end up missing the blessing of a true partner. When learning to love, you have to get much deeper below the surface.
There are still good men out there.
One of the biggest complaints that I’ve heard from single friends is that there are no good men left. Not to knock their choices, but they’re really saying that there are no men who meet their checklist of physical requirements. We all have our preferences but sometimes those aren’t necessarily the same things as what God knows we need.
I won’t lie: I had a list of what characteristics I wanted in a husband. When I wrote that list, I tucked it away and actually forgot about it. It was only after I’d been married for a few years that I found it again and saw that God had given me everything that my heart desired. It wasn’t because I made him check everything off of the list. The relationship grew and God grew my husband into the man He needed him to be for me. My preference was a tall, Black man but I was willing to be open to whatever he looked like, as long as he was a man of God and willing to help me grow in my faith and purpose.
Say what you mean.
I loved how Cameron had no trouble professing how much he loved Lauren and making sure that she knew his feelings. The reserved part of me was skeptical that he was saying all the right things and was setting Lauren up for the okey-doke. I don’t think I was more excited to be proven wrong! Cameron held nothing back. He was real with his feelings for his bride-to-be and wasn’t just about filler conversation. On their post-engagement vacation, he brought up a hot topic. “When we have kids…I know that the world is going to perceive them as Black and I know that it’s gonna make their life harder in some way. But, I think I trust you and I to raise them in the right way.”
There is something to be said about being the person…and being with the person…who doesn’t shy away from the hard conversations. As we consider entering into a covenant with another person, we have to be able to trust that they will be open and honest with us. We have to be willing to be open and honest with our significant other.
it’s necessary to Be vulnerable.
It’s harder to make genuine connections with people when we have our walls up. Yes, we have to protect our heart but the vulnerability found within trust is a sign of love. What helped Cameron and Lauren fall so quickly for each other was their willingness to be vulnerable with each other. I was a little shocked to see him openly cry so early on in the process. It endeared him to Lauren. They connected over how strongly they felt about various situations.
I remember the friendship phase of our dating process. Hubby and I had deep conversations, silly conversations, scary conversations. The biggest thing was that he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to remarry. He had a lot of mistrust and fear of being cheated on again. Fear was a driving factor in keeping the security wall up. But being vulnerable was a valuable lesson to learn when we were looking for love. It helped to understand our boundaries and set our expectations for how we wanted to be treated. How we were going to treat each other. Without opening up on all levels, we never would have been able to grow together in love.
Be willing to learn
It doesn’t matter what lessons we can learn from love…if we’re not willing to learn them.
Love will teach you the most valuable lessons about life and happiness.
Amore will teach you about how to honor and express the emotions that you feel.
Agape will teach you to love others more than yourself, just as Christ did.
If you’re like me and want to keep following our favorite Love is Blind couple, you can follow along with them on their new YouTube channel, Hanging with the Hamiltons! Yes, we’ve already subscribed!
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If you enjoyed this, you may also be interested in:
Build-A-Boo: Finding What You Need In A Marriage Partner
3 Tips on How to Make Love Before Marriage
My Husband is My Best Friend and Yours Should Be Too
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