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I always had dreams for my life, expectations of what life would look like with another person. 4 kids, a Rottweiler, a flourishing job. Hubby and I often talk about how we’re not the same people we were when we first married. Life hasn’t turned out the way that we hoped. No kids because of health and fertility issues, no pets because of my baking business, and I’m not working anywhere near the field in which I trained and studied for 14 years of my life…
Most people fear change after marriage, but change is not always a bad thing. We’re supposed to grow and become a better person than we were the day before. Sometimes our dreams will evolve and that’s not necessarily a bad thing either…
Dreams Deferred
I’m a member in a few online wife support communities. A lot of the anguish that I see in these groups have to deal with their lives not quite living up to the dreams that they had for themselves when they walked down the aisle. Struggling with infertility, unfaithfulness, career changes, loneliness…a general sense of nonfulfillment. We all have a purpose in life and it can take a toll on us…on our relationships…when we feel as if we’re not doing what we’re supposed to be doing.
Psalm 20:4 says “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” and 2 Peter 1:10 tells us “Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.”
Our Father places dreams and desires in our hearts and He wants us to pursue those things that glorify Him. But what do you do if your dreams aren’t being fulfilled, especially when the most important person in your life doesn’t know what they are?
Dreams Conferred
Again with the communication…
Have you talked with your partner about your {new} dreams? Have you told them what it is that has been placed on your heart? What’s holding you back from talking to your significant other about what it is you see for your life?
On the way to dinner with friends, hubby asked me if I could see myself as a minister’s wife. I laughed loudly and, seeing the irony in the possibility, said yes, absolutely. When we first got married, he was an engineer. The last 5+ years has taken his path from corporate work, to counseling, to ministry work. It’s not something that either of us even imagined in 2011. Along the way, he often talked about the different visions that he had for his life and how that would affect our marriage and our home. He shared his dreams with me.
When you are in a serious relationship or marriage, it’s vitally important that you share your dreams with your partner. If you find it intimidating to have this conversation with your partner, try these conversation starters. No matter how you start the conversation, you have to have the conversation.
To reconnect with your spouse and resurrect the romance in your relationship, take some time to share your dreams. In a yoked relationship, you need to be walking together, going in the same {or similar} directions, as it relates to the prosperity of your relationship. Amos 3:3 NLT says “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”
Head over to Active Manhood where we’re sharing more ways to Rekindle a Relationship.
Day 2 – Resurrecting the Romance: Share Your Dreams
Just where are you going in life…and have you told each other about it?
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