My Husband is my Best Friend and Yours Should Be Too

When I decided to date again…way back when…I intentionally set out to meet somebody I connected with easily. I felt that if I could have an amazing friendship with him, then a relationship would be possible. The idea may have been a little crazy but I believed in being friends with the man I dated. It wasn’t always that way; I’ve had relationships where I got deeply involved with a guy, only to realize that I didn’t like him as a person. Luckily for me, I met a guy who was immediately a friend, our friendship was seamless, and our relationship built on that foundation. We knew we would make it as spouses. My husband is absolutely my best friend. Yours should be too.

Having a friend who is upset with me or disappointed in me hurts me to my core. In this regard, I’m a people-pleaser. As husband and wife, a fundamental part of keeping a happy home is that we don’t want the person closest to us to be distressed. Because of the standards that we hold our spouses to, disappointment can run rampant; it would be very easy for me to stay angry with my husband. My husband and I are best friends. The fact that he’s my best friend always pushes me to want to resolve our issues. I’m not perfect and I can be mad for a while, but in the end, I always want to salvage and mend our friendship.

Two are better than one

In marriage, you’re living and moving as a team. You should be operating on one accord and walking in the same direction. That doesn’t mean that you’re no longer an individual but Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10 says “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

One of the loneliest feelings in a marriage is feeling like you’re in it alone. A covenant means that two become one, but too often, what should be one unit working in tandem is often two individuals doing their own thing. Go into marriage knowing that you’ve created a solid and foundational friendship to begin the journey.

Rights and Responsibilities of a Best Friend

A best friend is the friend who is closest to you.
Your BFF is the last person to judge you.
Your best friend criticizes you…constructively.
Who is the person with whom you share all of your secrets? a BFF is trusted to keep that information.
Your best friend knows everything about you…the good, the bad, the ugly and the intimate.
You have solidified your friendship by being open with each other, reinforcing each other’s importance in your lives.
Your BFF is the person you want to do everything with.
Your best friend is the person with whom you explore and share life.
They are the first person you call when you have good news to share,
When you need a shoulder to cry on, their number is the first you dial.
Your best friend is like-minded. You share similar interests, hobbies, desires, and ideas of what “fun” is.
Your BFF encourages you to grow
Your best friend is your go-to gal, your boy, ace-boom-koom, your ride-or-die.

These are only a few of the characteristics that you find in a best friend.

Why should I marry my best friend?

Ask yourself this question: Why isn’t the person in my marital bed the one who embodies all of those characteristics?

Once you propose/accept a proposal, you have decided that you take your intended for who they are. You accept them, flaws and all, and have made the decision to enter into a covenant. You do this with someone you’ve established a fundamental relationship that is intended to stand the test of time. Your spouse is the one person who should know all of your intimate secrets, hopes, dreams, and fears. They don’t tell all of your business to the world and they protect you. A huge part of building intimacy leading up to, and within a marriage, is being honest and open with each other.

Assigning the title of BFF is more than picking favorites on who knows you the best. It is about making the decision and committing the effort to cultivate the relationship that is closest to you into something more. All of those characteristics that you find within best-friendships are going to be vital to the longevity of your marriage. If the person with whom you’re considering {or have entered} into a holy covenant does not bear those characteristics, then you’re probably doing it wrong.

Did you (or would you) marry your best friend? Why or why not? Let me know in the comments below!

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