I’m currently moving through my 4th decade on this planet. I’m still discovering what generational curses are, while simultaneously diagnosing and dealing with them. My journey is helped along by the fact that my hubby is a counselor. Having a relationship where I can be open and honest with him is critical to my healing process. It’s not easy; in order for my marriage to stay strong, he has every right to know who he’s married to. I have every right and responsibility to know who he’s married to as well. The words “she get it from her mama” means something different when I examine the manifestation of generational curses in my life. It took a really long time for me to identify and admit that I’d inherited certain traits from my mom. Seeing the negative habits that I have is a choice. So is deciding to not pass them on.
Curses Along Familial Lines
What is a generational curse? According to Scripture, it was something that was considered a punishment from God. If you messed up, your great-grandchild was still going to be paying for your mistake. It was something that everyone was going to know, remember, and suffer for down through the lives of all who came behind you.
Numbers 14:18 warns us that “The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but He will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and fourth generation.”
Imagine how much pressure that is on a person! You’d have to live life to perfection in order to spare your children from a lifetime of sorrow and anguish for something that YOU did. Since we know that no one is perfect, families were pretty much screwed if dad or mom slipped in their religious resolve.
Bible teacher Beth Moore calls these situations generational strongholds and defines them as “…areas of bondage (that) are anything you may have learned environmentally, anything to which you may be genetically predisposed, or any binding influence passed down through other means.”
Manifestation of the Curse
You know what a curse looks like in your own community. An alcoholic parent will likely cultivate an alcoholic child. A mom who uses her body to get what she wants teachers her daughter that this is acceptable + attainable behavior. A racist parent breeds a legacy of racism, bigotry, + intolerance. A man who cheats teaches his son that this is just how a “man” behaves; he teaches his daughter that this is how a man should treat her. A mother who stays in an abusive situation teaches her daughter that this is how a partner shows their love; she teaches her son that this is the way to communicate love. Parents who choose to be financially illiterate keep their families in a cycle of debt.
Simply put, they are traits or habits that your parents have that you pick up through immersion of one kind or another. You adapt to your environment, you do what you see your parents do. You grow up thinking that these are socially acceptable behaviors because it’s what is consistently in front of you.
Curse by Mimicry
Mama see, daughter do. We have a biological tie to our mothers that often makes us turn out like them, whether we want to or not. I’m still trying to cleanse the hoarder tendencies in my spirit… Our beliefs start out as her beliefs, our habits start out as her habits. Some of this is so unconscious + ingrained that it is barely perceptible. As young girls, we learn to navigate the world around us by observing those closest to us. Our mothers show us how we give + receive love from others, how we love + value ourselves, the potential we have in life, our standards of beauty, etc.
Taken at face value, these curses drive us to look outside of the will of God in search of the things we crave in life. We look for ways to solve our issues of love, financial stability {1 Tim 6:10,} character development, all the while, forgetting to look to God first {Matt 6:33.}
Carrying the Curse Forward
What does any of this have to do with me now?
I can’t speak for everyone else, but I know that I have issues that were planted when I was young + still fester today. These issues affected how I accepted myself + spilled over into how I conducted myself in subsequent relationships.
I have issues with anxiety, depression, + more chronically, my self-esteem. My therapist husband has been working with me to try + help me identify where these issues come from so that I can address them. I still have a ways to go, but I know that these issues from my past only have as much control over me + my marriage as I allow them to have.
Find out how I broke my generational curses + how you can break yours to have a better life…
I am glad that someone believe in generational curses. I said this because many refuse to believe in generational curses even while they are dying under the weight of generational curses. A nice article and should serve as an eye opener.
Thank you! Yes, we can only know how to fight the enemy’s tactics when we open up our eyes to see what they are. Thank you for your response 🙂