Do You Really Want To Be A Proverbs 31 Wife?

Proverbs 31 tells the tale of the ultimate woman, wife and mother…she sets the standard for everything that a modern-day woman wants to be in her life. This unnamed (s)hero is the “business” from sun up to sun down. From the moment that her eyes open and thank God for another day, she is showing people how it’s done. She’s super mom, rocking her business. Her husband has bragging rights about his boo-thang.

Women aspire to be like her because she is the wife of noble character and “she is worth more than rubies.” {Prov 31:10} A ruby is worth about $3,000 per carat. Can you imagine how many carats a woman weighs? And to be united with that?! A wife of noble character is definitely a win-win for any man.

The characteristics of this outstanding lady are listed out and showcase her amazing existence. Verses 10-12 {NLT} say “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

And that’s where a lot of ladies stop. That’s where they set their sights and ambitions. Some go a little further and get a snapshot of what’s really going on. And if you look at it, you might wonder if you have set the bar a bit high…

The virtuous woman is not just a brilliant beauty who has it all together. She has half a chapter of Proverbs written about her.

She is a servant.

She gets up before dawn. She makes breakfast for her husband and kids {while they sleep.} She is a housewife and she runs her own business. She goes to the market to get provisions for her family. She’s a seamstress. She ministers to the poor and needy. She takes care of her husband…and she takes care of her husband…

She works herself to the bone.

She never complains about it.

I went back and really read the scriptures about all this lady did and how much work she put in every day. I was honest and I realized that I have to work up to being a Proverbs 31 woman.

But never fear! The life that this woman made for herself and her family is actually attainable!

The important thing to remember is that it’s easy for her to do all of this for her family because she fears the Lord {v30.} She realizes that her purpose in life goes far beyond the walls of her home and the opinions of others.

4 Ways to Be a Proverbs 31 Wife 

1. Realize and recognize that you are working for the glory of God and not for man. Colossians 3:23 reminds us to “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” I had the hardest time doing this at my last job. All I could see were the people and the foolishness that was going on obstructed my view of God and His purpose for my life. I ended up quitting. You can’t do that in marriage. You can’t just quit being a wife because you don’t like your husband or because he does something that you don’t particularly like. Marriage is a ministry and it’s often the first one that other children, singles and couples see in their attempt to understand what marriage is and should be. When you work at your marriage, you are doing it to glorify God and to show God to others through the way you treat your spouse. There will be a lot of days that you have to really concentrate on putting God’s will before your desire.
2. Define submission in your marriage, understand it and then apply it. Married women are very familiar with these scriptures because married men are familiar with these scriptures. “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” This is very closely related to #1, as in they both call for us to have a higher purpose in our lives and in our marriage. What does submission look like for you? For me, it was willingly making my husband my business manager and consulting with him when I made big purchases for my business. It’s checking with him before I go out or travel across the country at the last minute to do something I want to do. It’s agreeing to stop buying clothes online because we need to redistribute our funds for something. It’s not being bossed around or taken advantage of, but understanding that as God as ordained him to be my husband, I trust in him to do what is best for our family and to lead us in all things.
3. Practice humility. When was the last time you told your significant other “thank you” for buying you lunch {from your joint checking account} or the last time that you said you were sorry {and meant it} for something which you were in the wrong? We all have pride, but a Proverbs 31 woman will remember #1 and #2 and know that she will have to take a back seat to her ego, if doing so will bring peace to her home and glory to God.
4. Learn to season your words. I’m tired just thinking about all of the things that this lady did. Anyone who knows me, knows that when I’m tired, I’m not a nice person…and that’s putting it mildly. Part of being a woman of virtue is knowing how to talk to and treat other people. Most of us are familiar with Proverbs 18:21 which reminds us that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love its use will eat its fruit.” I used to take that scripture literally, thinking that I could murder someone with my words. And while I may not be arrested for calling my husband a disrespectful name, saying it will slowly and surely kill our relationship and our friendship. I will eat the fruit of the disrespect that I sow into my household. Colossians 4:6 is not just for friends and strangers…it’s appropriate inside your home first! “Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” My patience technique is to breathe through my nose. When I do that, I can’t have my mouth open at the same time and it gives me a few moments to put some seasoning on my words.
   

There are many other things that the Proverbs 31 woman did for her household. The most important thing that she ever did was to understand her place in her world and in her marriage as a daughter of the King before any of the other roles she graciously and exceptionally fulfilled. Think about why you want to be her and for whom you want to emulate her…and do it for the right person!