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Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.
{Proverbs 12:1 NET}
Ouch.
I kept checking different versions of this Scripture for a nicer way to say this, but there really wasn’t one. I guess that’s the point…?
We all have times in our lives when we make mistakes, when we don’t learn the lessons that we should. All we can do is dust ourselves off, keep going, and resolve to continue learning. As you are preparing for marriage…or are trying to keep your head above water in it…take the time to keep learning what God would have you to do and who He would have you to be in this season.
This is a list of books in my personal reference library. There are many more out there but these are the ones that I own and/or have read. As I read more books, I will update this list.
For reviews that I’ve completed on other titles, head here.
Enjoy!
My So Called Life As A Proverbs 31 Life
by Sara Horn
A fun book on a woman’s attempt to live up to the standards of being a Proverbs 31 Wife. We always hear of women aspiring to be this adored and revered woman found in Scripture, but Sarah took it a step further! Read about her experiment in the book here. Read the blog post about how to be a Proverbs 31 wife.
My So Called Life As A Submissive Wife 
by Sara Horn
Another book on living out what we read in Scripture, Sara writes about her experiment with being a submissive wife. The process might not be what you think, nor are the results. Find out what it looks like to be a submissive wife in today’s times in the book here. Read this post on the blog about being a helper for your husband.
The Wait
by Devon Franklin and Meagan Good 
Hollywood actress and her producer/minister husband talk about how waiting until marriage to be intimate with each other helped to truly shaped their relationship. As experienced by the couple, waiting on sexual intimacy can help to “find the life you love and to find the love of your life.” It’s a great read for both men and women who may be struggling with celibacy or questioning its purpose for a godly relationship. Grab your copy here. For those who need daily support as they walk this path, grab your copy of the devotional here.
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God 
by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller
A covenant commitment is for bringing glory to God through serving another. Most Christians don’t realize that when they say “I do.” This book shares ways to navigate the complex intricacies of marriage with the wisdom that God has provided in His Word. It’s a great tool to use for both marriage preparation and marriage sustainability. Find your copy here.
Love and Dating in the 21st Century: A Matchmaker’s Real and Uncut Dating Advice for Single Women of Faith 
by Rebecca Lynn Pope
What’s it really like for a Christian woman to date in the 21st century? How are we supposed to keep looking to God while looking for love? An Atlanta matchmaker who’s seen it all and helped others to navigate the dating scene, Rebecca imparts her advice and wisdom for other Christian wisdom looking for ways to date in a way that still pleases God. If you’re in this season of Christian dating, grab your guide here.
How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage 
by Milan and Kay Yerkovich
When we get married, we are expect to leave our parents and cleave to our new spouse. We are to cleave in thoughts, actions, and behaviors. That isn’t always the easiest thing to do. How We Love helps to lean in to the ways that our backgrounds have shaped us and have shaped the way that we give and receive love. Learning how to love each other in spite of ourselves is key to building a solid foundation for your relationship and marriage. Get your copy here.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts 
by Gary Chapman
Do you know your love language? Do you know what a love language is? We give and receive love in different ways. The 5 Love Languages helps to guide couples and individuals through navigating the ways that the need to feel loved. Knowing your love language will help to ensure that emotional and relational needs are being met in your relationship and marriage. You can find it here.
The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships 
by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas
One of the hurdles of being in close relationships is that they will eventually make a mistake and hurt us. The Five Languages of Apology will teach you how to apologize to your loved one and will enlighten you on how you receive and accept an apology. Conflict resolution is critical to the health and length of every relationship that you want to keep. Learn how to give and accept forgiveness with this book.
The Kindness Challenge: 30 Days to Improve Any Relationship 
by Shaunti Feldhahn
Sometimes the hardest thing is when we realize that we can only control ourselves and our behaviors. Marriage is a sacrificial ministry and kindness is a powerful form of agape love in a great marriage. If you’ve hit a tension block in your relationship, try kindness. You really can kill them {them = your ego and their disdain} with kindness. Find your copy here. Want to do the video challenge instead? Join in with the videos here.
Preparing for Marriage: Discovering God’s Plan for a Lifetime of Love 
by David Boehi, Brent Nelson, et al.
Are you discussing marriage and trying to prepare for it? Marriage preparation should start long before the engagement process. This interactive workbook is a comprehensive guide to help you and your partner discover and celebrate your strengths, as well as work through any weaknesses that you may have before you walk down the aisle. This was one of the guides which my husband and I used as we prepared for our own marriage; we found it to be incredibly beneficial as we built the foundation for our marriage. Get a copy for both yourself and your partner to work through to get the most out of it.
I Love You and I Like You: How to Be Married and Still Be Friends 
by Steve and Annie Chapman
I’m married to my best friend. If agape love is the foundation for having a successful marriage, then being friends with your spouse is the way to keep that love alive and enduring. After marriage, there will come times when you don’t necessarily get along with your spouse, but you still have to treat them with love and respect. This book teaches couples practical ways in which to have a marriage that overflows with love for the person that you like the most. Find the book here.
Strengths Based Marriage: Build A Stronger Relationship by Understanding Each Other’s Gifts 
by Jimmy Evans and Allan Kelsey
What are your partner’s strengths and weaknesses? What are yours? Knowing or not knowing this about each other will have a direct effect on the longevity your relationship. I’m terrible at math and he’s really good with numbers. Guess who handles the finances so that we have a smoothly running household? This book will help you to identify the gifts that you have and will help you to learn how to be a true help-meet in your marriage. Find the book here.
His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-Proof Marriage 
by William F. Harley, Jr.
I had to read this book for a class in graduate school to complete my certification in Pastoral Care and Counseling. It absolutely opened my eyes to some things that a lot of people don’t typically consider as they try to meet their spouse’s mental, emotional, and physical needs. It doesn’t sugarcoat anything as it discusses what it really takes to keep your spouse happy, content, and engaged in your relationship. Marriage takes work but you can only complete the tasks if you know what they are. Find your copy of His Needs, Her Needs here.
Finding the Love of Your Life 
by Dr. Neil Clark Warren
Over 25 years of marriage counseling taught the founder of E-Harmony that sometimes people often simply marry the wrong person. Years before he created the popular online dating service, he wrote this book to share 10 principles to help you choose the right marriage partner. An older text with timeless advice, this book will help you to decide if the person you’re with is the one you should consider marrying; it will also help you to have a clearer vision on what to look for when seeking a dating relationship. Grab your copy here.
100 Answers to 100 Questions About: 
by Lila Empson
Do you have marriage questions that you need answered? There are probably questions about marriage that you might never have thought of. Men, do you have to ask who’s side to take in an argument between your wife and mother? Ladies, do you know why he can’t read your mind…and probably never will? Created with husbands and wives in mind, this pair of books will help you to answer important questions with both Biblical answers and realistic solutions to keep your relationship on track and moving forward.
100 Answers to 100 Questions About: Loving Your Wife {for the men}
100 Answers to 100 Questions About: Loving Your Husband {for the women}
The Surrendered Wife 
by Laura Doyle
One of the hardest things to do in marriage can be to surrender to your husband. A myth that is perpetuated by society is that a surrendered or submissive wife is a doormat. Submission in marriage is a very powerful act. It does not render you powerless. This book is a practical guide to help wives find intimacy and peace through submission. Try it out for yourself and get your copy here.
Every Marriage is a Fixer-Upper: A Do-It-Yourselfer’s Guide to Bringing Out the Best in Your Relationship 
by Bill and Pam Farrel
As amazing as marriage is, it will always take daily work. This fun book reinforces the need to continue to put work into your relationship to keep it going. When you have issues in your relationship, duct tape will only hold it together for so long. When things start to come apart or you see that it might break, get in and repair it! Find this marriage DIY book here.
Happy Wives Club 
by Fawn Weaver
What is it that makes a wife happy in her marriage? We all have different lives and circumstances, which makes us look at things a little differently. But what do we have in common when it comes to being happy in love? Written by an author friend and colleague, this book details Fawn’s journey around the world to discover what makes for a happy wife and happy life. Get your answers here. Are you a Happy Wife? Join us in the Happy Wives Club!
Happy Habits for Every Couple: 21 Days to a Better Relationship 
by Roger and Kathi Lipp
There are certain things that happy couples do to stay that way. Dating, engaged, or married, there are different ways to interact with each other in order to maintain happiness in your relationship. This book walks you through a 21 day adventure to bring the joy back into your lives. I picked up my copy on a whim at a gas station, but you can find yours here.
101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged 
by H. Norman Wright
When people fall in love and decide to get engaged, they often only ask how much should I spend on the ring or how big of a proposal should it be? Entering into an engagement for covenant marriage should evoke many more questions than that. Before you yoke yourself to another person, you need to find out as much about them and your compatibility together before you make that decision. This book walks through 101 questions that you should ask each other and teaches you how to interpret the answers. Things that may seem innocuous could be huge red flags. Grab 2 copies…one for both each of you…here and have this important conversation before you put a ring on it.
Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Got Married 
by Gary Chapman
Hindsight is 20/20 and that’s no different in marriage. Taken from the experience and wisdom of a marriage counselor with over 35 years of experience, this book follows a Titus 2 principle in teaching those coming behind the on what to expect from marriage. By teaching through the mistakes from which they’ve learned, this book imparts wisdom to those considering marriage to help them fully prepare for it. Find it here.
When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships 
by Eric and Leslie Ludy
Christian dating can often be muddled with questions of how we should conduct ourselves as we get to know one another and consider going into serious relationships.This book teaches us to look at our opposite-sex interests as children of the King, just as we are. Letting God mold you and guide your relationship helps to build the foundation for a marriage that He designs. Allowing Him to be the “captain of your love boat” will help your trip to be just that much smoother. Let Him write your love story and get the book here.
He-Motions: Even Strong Men Struggle 
by T.D. Jakes
This may seem surprising to include on a list of books to help women, but it’s one of the best books that I’ve read in helping my relationship. As Jakes describes it, this book is about giving strength to men and for providing solutions for women. It opened my eyes to so many things that my husband would have to deal with every day as a Black man in this world. In understanding what he deals with in the world every day, it helped me to be more intentional about making our home and marriage a place of peace and sanctuary for him…and for both of us. Get your copy here.
Am I The One? Clues to Finding and Becoming a Person Worth Marrying
by James R. Lucas
This book was written for teens and young adults who are still trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be. It’s still valuable for adults who are looking to find the person who they want to marry, in that it helps to guide them through the characteristics they need to develop in order to be a person worthy of marriage. You can find it here.
Fervent 
by Priscilla Shirer
One of my areas of weakness is praying. This book will help you to develop a solid prayer style by teaching you to be “serious, specific, and strategic” in your prayer life. Whether you’re petitioning God for employment, a relationship, for direction in life, or on behalf of someone else, you need to understand why we pray and how to do it. See the power of fervent prayer in The War Room movie and get your guide on fervent prayer here.
Praying God’s Will for Your Life: A Prayerful Walk to Spiritual Well-Being 
by Stormie Omartian
We are supposed to pray for each other. We often pray for others to change and do things differently. In doing that, we often forget to pray for ourselves. That our ways be changed to glorify God and to serve others. This book is for women who need help in learning how to pray for the things that God would have us to say, think, do, and become. That His will, not ours, be done. Get your copy here.
A Woman’s Answer to Anger: Getting Your Emotions Under Control 
by Annie Chapman
Anger is an emotion that we all have to deal with. Not being able to control things or situations can be incredibly frustrating. Those feelings of being out of control can cause us to lash out at those closest to us. When we do this within our relationships, it can cause wounds that may never fully heal. This book teaches us what love is, how to live with an agape love towards those closest to us, and how to control the things you can control. Find your copy here.
How to Hear From God: Learn to Know His Voice and Make Right Decisions 
by Joyce Meyer
Did you finally meet “the one?” How do you know? Is this the job of your dreams? Are you sure it’s God or the money? In this book by international speaker and ministry leader, Joyce Meyer, she teaches us how to learn to hone our skills of discernment, so that we may know when we’re hearing the voice of our Father and not being deceived by the enemy. Grab your copy here.
For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men 
by Shaunti Feldhahn
Men may be from Mars, but we can still enter into their orbit. This book is a inside look into the workings of men and their minds. We truly do look at things in the world differently and this is a sneak peak into how we can love him better, as we learn to understand him better. Get in on the conversation here.
The Confident Woman Devotional: 365 Daily Inspirations 
by Joyce Meyer
I’ve always struggled with confidence and the sin of comparison. This year-long daily devotional is designed to help you build up and maintain your confidence, reinforcing that your strength and purpose come from Him and not another {wo}man. Find your copy here, along with The Confident Woman: Start Today Living Boldly and Without Fear book here.
The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? 
by Rick Warren
What are you here for? What is your purpose? While we can be so busy seeking out a relationship and marriage, it’s very easy to forget that we are here to serve others, to glorify God, and to enlarge the Kingdom. With this book, learn how to strengthen your relationship with Christ and figure out what you’re meant to do while you’re here on Earth. Find The Purpose Driven Life here.
The Seed Principle: Sowing the Life of Your Dreams 
by Aubrey Johnson
We know the parable of the seeds in Galatians 6. As an illustration, we see that the seeds were only able to grow in a certain type of soil. The Seed Principle helps to guide you through sowing seeds for personal, relational, and organizational growth, teaching you how to lay the foundation for great things in life. Especially in the area of relationships, it will teach you how to nurture the ones closest to you. Find it here.