Make Me A Wife: Serve Him With Bells On

To serve is the responsibility of a wife. She is a servant. Yep, that word.

She has the privilege to serve her husband.

Privilege, you say?

We are all called to be servants to the Kingdom {Prov 16:9}. We’ve fought so hard for equality in all aspects of our lives so, sometimes, one of the hardest things for a woman to do is be subservient.

But only if you don’t know what it really means + looks like in action.

Servanthood is not about being a doormat, but rather involves putting others first {Phil 2:35.} Look at it this way: Jesus Himself was a servant. He washed people’s feet. I don’t think I’ve done that for my husband. I have given him a foot massage, but only after he cleaned his toes himself… But think about the circumstances in which He did that. Those feet were covered in road grime + animal droppings. Yet He still served in the lowest position, with grace + humility.

Specifically, in the position of FLOTH {First Lady of the House…I totally just made that up} being a servant means submitting to your husband + supporting him in the responsibility of leading your household. This is a lot harder to do when he hasn’t submitted himself to God in leading your family, but it is still the role that you sign{ed} up for.

You have to be careful to whom you yoke yourself in dating + in marriage because you are tied to them. Flaws + all. You have to understand what you’re promising God that you will do in exchange for the bling + the bedmate. 

This life is not for the impatient, grudge-holders nor for the faint of heart. Look at being a servant from a different lens, one that doesn’t even begin to degrade you.

3 Honest + Practical Ways You Can Serve Your Husband

1. Through your prayers. This should be the first thing you do for your husband. If you’re not yet married, you should still be praying for your husband! Pray that he is a discerning man, one after God’s own heart. Pray that he will be led by God to be able to lead you + your family. Pray for him from head to toe, that every fiber of his being will be in service to God because that is the only way he will be able to be the head of the household who he is required to be.
2. Through your words {or lack thereof.} Surprisingly, one of the ways you can serve your husband is to stop talking. Yes, that’s a touch harsh but do I have your attention? I recently read + reviewed a book about being a strong-willed woman in the Kingdom. I surely could have done with reading it earlier. You really have to know me to know my mouth. It’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older, which is also why I’m reading this book. My harsh words are not directed at him, but they are aimed at enough people around me + using him as my sounding board sometimes takes its toll on him. There are 6 scriptures that say it’s better for a man to be alone somewhere than to be under the roof with a quarrelsome wife; Proverbs 27:15 compares it to torture similar to waterboarding! Whether you mouthpiece to quarrel, complain or gossip, you can serve your husband by not doing it. I’m personally working on 2 of the three… On the other hand, when you speak, speak life into your husband {Proverbs 18:21.} Carefully choose your words to make sure they are building + giving life, not destroying or taking it away.
3. Through your actions. How easy is it to serve your husband through your actions? Can you be nice? Believe it or not, serving your husband through your actions is as easy as smiling + sincerely greeting him every day. Give him a big, bear hug. Sit + talk with him. Plan date nights. For us, my husband appreciates me the most if I go to bed at the same time as him. I could still be working on the laptop, but he just wanted me there. Trivial? Maybe not. His needs are often easily met by me just being close by.

Serve him with bells on!

Serving your husband does not necessarily mean making him three square meals a day or keeping the house spotless. Heaven knows if that was the criteria, I’d be in trouble! Learn his love language. Learn what he needs from you as his wife. Not as a doormat, but as a partner. What is it that will support him in his role as your husband? Cut to the chase + learn what it is that really serves him. Serving him comes in different forms + will evolve over the life of your marriage. Be happy to serve him in ways that meet his needs + see the way the God shows up in the health + happiness of your relationship!

What’s your favorite way to serve your husband? Has it changed since you were married? Let me know in the comments below!