The other day I read the story about Israel Houghton and his new lady. I wasn’t looking for any drama, but Facebook has a way of dropping things in your news feed. My alter ego Judgy McJudgerson came straight out the gate talking about “Oh, no he dii’int!” because she was here for all of this!
If you missed it, Mr. Haughton was seen with a new lady, who wasn’t his wife, while still wearing his wedding ring. What I’ve heard is that he admitted that he cheated in his marriage and he and his wife tried unsuccessfully for 5 years to work it out; he just filed for divorce last month. The lady he is now with is the ex-fiancée of one of his close friends. Trust me, Judgy has a real opinion about that but it has little to do with what I have to say.
I’m not here to attack Israel. I admire his talent. One of his songs is always the first I play when I’m listening to my Christian playlist. He just happened to be in a situation that this ministry needs to address. Because of his position as a ministry leader, people look up to him and follow his example, thinking that because he’s a “man of God” that he must be doing something right and they can do it too. But he is human + therefore fallible and susceptible to sin, falling to the temptation of twisting or ignoring the Scriptures to fit his needs.
Israel separated from his wife and took up with another woman. And Israel is wrong for what he’s doing.
This isn’t Judgy talking. He is free to do what he wants with his life; that’s between him and God. All I’m here to say is this: we each have a choice in life, either we do or don’t follow the Scriptures. If you’re reading this, I want you to understand that God gives us no room or right to negotiate His commands nor to work around what He asks of us in order to suit our wants + desires. Marriage and divorce are the biggest areas where we {as humans} try to find all sorts of loopholes in the Word.
The whole point of Yoked is to be able to air things out, to help people get their relationships in order before they walk down the aisle and walk into their covenant. I fully understand that people will do what they want. Personally, I support people doing things the right way. I’m not that friend who will tell you what you want to hear because I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I don’t consider that being a real friend and I surely wouldn’t want anyone in my life who would be that kind of “friend” to me. I’m not perfect + have been called out on my mess before + it was for my well-being.
The big question and elephant in the room in Israel’s situation is this: can he marry his girlfriend? Should she enter into a relationship with him? To be conservative, there were a few opinions given on the matter in the comment sections all over the interwebs regarding what Israel could + should do in his new situation. Matt 5:31-32 and Luke 16:18 both talk about divorce + remarriage in the New Testament scriptures. I encourage you to check it out for yourself…but let me try to paraphrase it for you.
Man gives us the freedom to marry and divorce at will. If I don’t like the way that my husband washes laundry, I’m free to divorce him for irreconcilable differences. I’ve broken the covenant with my husband, but God is looking at me like “Nah, Boo, you made a promise to Me too.” God makes 1 allowance for scriptural divorce {infidelity} and 2 allowances for remarriage, {being cheated on and/or death of your spouse.} The allowance under scrutiny here {Mark 10:2-12} is that God allows for a covenant to be broken with Him if you’re cheated on.
The cheatee is allowed to leave the marriage + remarry.
The cheater is not.
If the cheater remarries while the ex is still alive, the cheater {and their new spouse} are both adulterers.
This article spells it out in much more detail than I’ve posted about here but please read the Bible for yourself!
And because there is no negotiating God’s Word, that’s all I have to say about that.
<3 Katherine
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Katherine is the author of Wounds to Wisdom, The Marriage Advocate, and is the voice behind Yoked, an online ministry dedicated to helping women prepare themselves to be a wife. Married to her best friend, she is living out her purpose by encouraging others to enter into covenant marriages with their eyes wide open.
For one thing, he should know better. No where in God’s word does it say that you can add or take away from the scripture. Not only that NO he doesn’t by scripture have a right to remarry. And if he does remarry then he is sinning. That’s just my two cents
Wellll… I guess you said it all. 🙂