3 Reasons Why You Should Have Strong Marriage Advocates + Free Printables

What is a Marriage Advocate?

There is a Scripture that says “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” {Ecc 4:12 NLT} and I love it! It’s the real basis for the phrase “tying the knot” and it involves 3 strands of rope, commonly symbolizing the 3 people who are involved in a marriage…husband, wife + God. Well, if that seems like a crowd, what about 5 or 7 people in a marriage? Not talking about polyamory or anything, but let me tell you my justification for having Marriage Advocates…

Why You Should Have Marriage Advocates

Here are 3 principal reasons you should have Marriage Advocates:

ONE: To be able to investigate different ways of “doing it.” When we selected our MAs, we picked couples who were from different walks of life, different denominations and had been married for different lengths of time. Insurance agents, homemakers, realtors, administrative assistants, married for 8 years or 20+. We wanted to cover a spectrum of life experiences, getting a broad look at what to expect after the vows. The couples took varying approaches to issues and situations they experienced in their marriage; it helped to get a sneak peek into the variables of matrimony. It certainly got personal + we were not shy about asking how often intimacy should occur…

TWO: To get a glimpse into your possible future. It was very interesting to see where these couples were in life + to know what they went through to get there. Without disclosing too much personal information, but I used to have a particular mindset about what I would/not tolerate in marriage. I discovered that it’s very easy to say that before you go into it, but that after the vows, you may really have to re-evaluate your stance on the pile of socks right next to the hamper. I often joke around + say that I want to be like {someone} when I grow up, but meeting with our MAs reminded me that you have to go through growing pains in order to grow up. Knowing what you’re getting into beforehand is kinda like having your own crystal ball, but without the carnival fair fees!

THREE: To get your own pair of married couple wingmen. When you go through this process, you get wingmen for life! We had 5 separate couples that we selected as MAs and 2 of the couples are still there for us everyday. Like, for real. One couple we see, at a minimum, 4 days a week…more if the guys decide they want to go out for man time. And the wives of these 2 duos? They are my true sisters and I luurve them! I can call them for anything and WHEN I have an issue with the hubs, I can call to vent + cry to them, knowing that I will receive good/godly counsel and will be supported in what is beneficial to me, my husband and our marriage…none of that “do what you want, your husband be damned” foolishness. They are advocates for our marriage continuously.

Selecting Marriage Advocates

One of my favorite passages of scripture is Titus 2:4, a portion of which states “…the older women…can urge the younger women to love their husbands…” and I see that even back the golden, olden days, women were encouraged to be advocates for younger women + newlyweds. Even though my closest advocate wives were only a few years older than me, they clearly had much more marriage experience than I. They were advocates for what they knew to be a beautiful experience and a ministry that was meant to glorify God.

You do know that marriage is a ministry, right?

So you interested yet? Here are some tips on selecting your own Marriage Advocates…

• Select a couple that is active in something that you’re passionate about. Choose those who walk the walk + talk the talk. Our advocates were active in their church/congregation. Because we are active in our congregation, we knew we could talk to them about what to expect; we could learn how to navigate church stuff as one unit.
• Look for a couple you can trust and talk to in confidence. We didn’t have lots of secrets, but we could go to them + get honest feedback.
• Evaluate the friendship potential with your advocates. You may not become best friends with your MAs but you need to have some sort of solid relationship with them. If you do become married besties with them, it’s a win-win for everyone!

After we selected our advocates, we took them each out to dinner as a couple {and paid for it} and interviewed them. To help you with that, I’m happy to provide some free printables for you! It’s kind of like asking out your prom date, but way better!

All you need to do is print them out, attach them to a gift card or candy favor and let the work fun begin!

 

Click here to get your MA invites…choose from 3 different designs!

Let me know how it goes {in the comments below}