Budgeting has never been my strong suit. Lots of people were raised to save money or to spend it wisely. My first real job was at Target. When I got my first paycheck, I was like “Make it rain!”
The problem is, I really didn’t change that behavior until I was in my late 20s. By that point, I didn’t have any money in savings + sucked at keeping up with a checkbook. Fortunately, I became a whiz at using automatic payments from my account, but I had to make sure the funds were there. I didn’t excel at that either…
Leave + Cleave…All the Way to the Bank
Being married to another person marries you to their financial health {or lack thereof} as you go forward. We tend to be quick to skip over the “two become one” when it applies to our finances. I know a lot of people who still do their finances 50/50…and some are able to make that work. I also know some people who have that arrangement + when one person falls short on their half of the bills, they begin to lose everything as their debts spiral out of control. Stubbornness + selfishness come into play in those situations, but that’s another post for another day…
Budgeting is a big part of marriage; addressing it while dating is an important precursor to what your financial stability as a couple will look like. My husband had financial issues in his first marriage because they had different financial ethics + goals. Scriptures tell us in 1 Timothy 6:10a that “…the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil…” + it’s been consistently reported that one of the biggest reasons for fighting, tension + breakups stems from some argument over money. If you want to have a healthy relationship + marriage, remember that it’s all about the budgeting baby!
4 Ways Budgeting Leads to Bliss
- Talk ain’t that cheap. The first + easiest step to financial security it to actually talk about your finances! Communication truly does play an important role in the health of a relationship. It was hard for us to talk about our debt. I carried a lot of shame. My husband’s ex messed up his credit + shattered his faith in the financial system. While we were still dating, we began to combine finances. He had bills to pay {for which he had to use online systems,} but didn’t trust banks. To resolve the issue, he would give me the money + I would deposit it into my account, paying through my bank’s online payment system. I know that he felt a little apprehensive about trusting me with that but we talked about it + worked out something that would help us both work toward our goals of debt reduction.
- Determine your goals + establish budgeting strategies. I didn’t have an accurate look at my financial situation until my husband compiled a spreadsheet that showed our debt-to-income ratio. Wait, that’s putting it mildly. I had no idea how much debt I’d incurred over the years. I was floored. He was much more calm about it, laying out what we owed, how much we brought in to our household + what we needed to do to knock down the debt. Did I mention that he likes math? He took Physics-based Calculus because he thought it would be fun. I thought Algebra was invented by Satan. No matter where you are in your love {or hate} for math, you should figure out what you want to do in life + make a plan on how to get there.
- Revisit + re-evaluate your budgeting needs. As life evolves, so will your financial needs + responsibilities. When we first met, we were just concerned about paying off bills + going places. Early years of marriage got a little more serious + we had to take another look at what we needed to do with our money. Becoming foster parents added another layer of concern; we had to add a nursery to our home + incurred extra expenses. We desire to expand our family, so we’re now budgeting to buy a larger home. Our parents are getting older, so we’re planning now to be able to financially care for them when they are no longer able to care for themselves.
- Know your budgeting role + stay in your lane! As I’ve said before, I suck at managing money. Even with the businesses that I run, he’s the Business Manager because numbers are his expertise. I’ve gotten much better over the years, but I dare not make myself CFO of anything! Remember, what works for your family is what’s best for your family. My husband asked me {once} to manage our finances. My fiduciary responsibility was to give the accounts back to him. Just because I’m working from home now, it doesn’t alleviate any responsibility from my actions. Part of our current budgeting plan means I just can’t buy everything that I want. Even if it’s on clearance. Any purchase that’s not business-related is discussed. And it’s not because I’m controlled; it’s showing respect to my husband + our household to make sure that I’m not doing anything to detrimentally affect our finances.
If you’re seriously dating/engaged, this is the perfect time to start discussing your financial goals + start budgeting. If you’re already married, it’s not too late!
Check out these free resources on budgeting to help you get on the right track:
Four Hats and Frugal: Amiyrah is the queen of budgeting. She is all about being a baller on a budget!
This super extensive list from The Dating Divas on websites, apps + more to help you get your finances in order is amazing! I’m going to spend some time over there myself…
A new year is upon us! Are you making any budgeting changes? Let me know in the comments below!
I love this. My husband and I talked about finances before we married. I pay the bills, but we talk about any and all purchases. We are in the process of trying to get a second vehicle and start the house buying process. We have a budget and try to stick to it. We are paying off debt that we have (I have more than him). But we are a team. We always talk about how to make our finances better. I’m definitely going to check out the website you posted.
That’s awesome! It can be hard to do but it’s so worth it! Best of luck with the house + the car! Our biggest challenge right now is trying to not incur more debt while paying off the current :/